Dopy (a story of my unwelcome cat)
About 4-months after I began construction of my home I went on vacation for a week. When I returned and continued working on my home I thought there was an animal trapped inside. I heard the sound of scurrying across dusty floors but couldn’t find the source. Another week passed and as I whistled while I worked I heard a kitten meow. I continued to whistle and over 20 minutes located the source. A tiny kitten was trapped behind my downstairs bathtub. I eventually lured it out and gave it half of my Wendy’s burger and the rest of my fries… this was my first mistake. I let the animal out and told it to get lost.
That night I told my wife that I wasn’t nuts after all and I found an animal trapped in the house. I relayed the whole story to her hoping that was the end of it… this was my second mistake.
As the week went on the kids couldn’t wait for the weekend when I usually took them to the house to help (my kids never really helped, they just ran around, screaming, making a mess, and gave me a headache.) They all wanted to see if the cat would still be there… this was my third mistake.
Well you all know the next part, the cat was there and the kids and my wife begged me to keep the stupid thing... this was my fourth mistake. Although the cat was terrified of entering the house, for fear of being trapped, the kids played and fed the thing inside and I kicked it out when we left.
Well a couple of months went by, the cat got bigger as I fed the animal every night and sure enough the damn thing got knocked up. Although this solved the mystery of the sex of the animal, this was the last think that I wanted since I was surrounded by farms and didn’t want dozens of cats running around. So over the next few weeks I waited for the kittens and planned to get rid of them to anyone.
So one day I noticed Dopy lost a considerable amount of weight and I did some surveillance work to locate the kittens in my neighbor’s window well. I moved the kittens to my garage and Dopy moved them out to a different location. This occurred four times until I decided to lock the cats in my garage until they were older so I can end this nightmare. Although the cats crapped and pissed in my garage I decided that was better than the alternative.
One Saturday my kids came over and broke one of the kitten’s legs under a milk crate. So the injured kitten was taken to the vet where they couldn’t be sure of the break unless they x-ray it. $80 later we found out the kitten had a broken leg. We ask the vet what was next and he said “well nothing… you don’t do anything for a broken leg on a kitten.”
Time went by, the kittens were given away including the one with a broken leg, and Dopy was fixed and had a bunch of shots $100 later. Dopy still won’t voluntarily come in the house, she kills plenty of mice and rats, and cost us about $350 in cat food over the past years. She lost an eye in a fight and I told my family no more vet. I thought I was in the clear and the cat would die but the eye came back and Dopy still begs for food whenever she sees me.
Lessons learned:
1. Never feed a hungry animal, it will only return over and over.
2. Never tell your wife a story that you don’t intend everyone finding out.
3. Never introduce your children to a distressed and pitiful animal, they will guilt you into keeping the stupid thing f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
4. Never feed a hungry animal, because it will get knocked up and cost you hundreds of dollars.
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